Each person on Earth, all 7 billion of us, is completely different from everyone else. We have our own unique DNA, features, personalities, styles, likes and dislikes. We weren’t born to be just like anyone else, so why do most of us go through stages or phases where we try to be anyone else but who we are meant to be—ourselves.
We all like to believe that we are happy with who we are, on the inside and the outside, but in all honesty we have all tried to be like someone else at one point or another. Whether it be trying to dress as sophisticated as mom or dad, go to all the cool hangouts and do as our older brother or sister, or have exactly all the possessions that our friends or peers may have, we have all tried to make ourselves into something or someone else. However, we cannot put all the blame on ourselves for the desire of change.
In today’s world, media puts a lot of pressure on people to be “perfect” or at least what it claims to be perfect. Movies, magazines, songs, tv shows and even games give us images of what people are “suppose” to be like. Women and girls are suppose to be skinny, model material and lady like. Men are suppose to be strong, primary/ superior income earners and children are simply supposed to behave, do as they are told and follow in their parents footsteps. As sad as it is to say, it is very true that too many of us fall short of listening to the tiny voice within ourselves and instead give in and listen to the roar of society. I myself have fallen into the trap of society before and thought it was awful to be different and be myself.
From dying my hair different colors and getting piercings…to changing the music I listen to and what I wear, I often have drifted away from my true self before and have tried gaining acceptance and approval from society and my peers for whom I thought they wanted me to be. Little did I realize at the time, that like people, society changes as well and what could’ve been approved and accepted one day could easily be judged the next. From dying my hair once more and removing the piercings…to watching new shows and trying to change my body, I once again tried to fit in and be the girl society and my peers expected of me.
Luckily, after about the fourth time of changing many things about myself, it hit me that i wasn’t happy of the constant changing and trying to fit in. I was always stressed out and so focussed on others and what they thought that I lost complete sight of myself. I realized that I don’t need everyone else to like me or approve of who I am as a person. If they didn’t like me or approve of me then they aren’t worth my time and didn’t deserve to be a part of my life. All that matters is that I like me for myself and that if I do wish to change things about me, that it’s for my own benefit and liking, not society’s or my peer’s.
Each person on Earth, all 7 billion of us, are unique in every single way. We are who we make ourselves out to be, not who others say we should be. We should be proud with who we are and know that there is no other person in the world exactly like us. We should accept ourselves, love ourselves and not surround ourselves with people who put us down and try to change us into who they themselves think we should be as an individual. We should not spend our precious and short time here worrying about how others see us or if they don’t like us, we should spend it worrying about ourselves and trying to make the best of us. We were all born to be a unique and original human being, not a copy of someone else.
Each day without him is getting harder because he was everything I ever needed & wanted…
Dreams crushed, face flushed, cries shushed…
I often pray for him to return & take away my pain & sorrow…
Tears shed, arms bled, lies fed…
I never thought it’d come to this & that he’d leave me broken…
Hope lost, lines crossed, care tossed…
It’s been 3 years now since I lost my world & I don’t think he will ever return…
Don’t wait for someone else to come pick you up & make you feel better.
You know what you like, you know what you hate…
So take charge, don’t waste time waiting on fate.
Show the world that hero’s don’t come out of comics or dreams.
Show them that hero’s can simply be yourself, no matter how crazy that seems.
They don’t understand that my heart is a thousand miles away.
They don’t understand the pain, confusion, & war I fight everyday.
They don’t understand how much blood I’ve bled & how many tears I’ve cried.
They don’t understand that if it weren’t for someone far away, I would have long ago died.
They don’t understand that yet younger than them, I am closer to my end.
They don’t understand that my heart, soul, & mind are all bent as far as they can bend.
They don’t understand the amount of happiness they have taken away from me.
They don’t understand that I have none left & I am completely empty.
They don’t understand & they never will.
Yet I still pray that one day they feel what I feel.
An outcast everywhere I go, I’ve grown used to standing alone.
That doesn’t bother me though.
My biggest discomfort is that I can no longer tell the difference between my dreams & reality.
Often lost within my head, flipping through one thought after another
I struggle to pay attention to the world around me.
I’m lost, & I use to fear that I would never find my way home.
Yet now I don’t care.
Each day I will push on & I will make the new, unknown things around me into home.
I’d rather live believing & die to find out He doesn’t exist than live not believing & die to find out He does….
This world is far from beautiful.
Yet unlike me, most people don’t see it to be mournful.
Each day soldiers blindly fight for & lose their life for a country that’s no better than any other.
A country that allows kids to be killed by none other than their own mother.
In this world you must pay for the things you need to survive.
Sometimes I wish I had the luck of those who aren’t alive.
People wonder why I’m so depressed, try looking at the world through my eyes.
You’ll see that the world is not all pleasant green grass & blue skies.
If you were me you’d feel the breath taking pain of a shattered heart within.
It’s unfix-able & will never be the same again.
If you were me you’d feel the betrayal I feel towards someone I thought was there for me.
Someone who since I was a baby I thought would protect me.
So look through my eyes.
You’ll see I don’t see the same blue skies.
You’ll see I’m tired of looking through my eyes & am ready to go home.
For this world will never be home.
In a sea of doubt & despair,
I’m sinking slowly, being deprived of air.
Those who could help turn their backs & refuse to understand.
They could save me yet they stay on land.
I fight what’s pulling me down, struggling to break free.
Yet slowly becoming weak, I think of letting it consume me.
It stole my happiness, now it wants my life.
I don’t know what else to do & have no help to survive.
I use to watch you from both far & near & admire your every move.
Yet now your ego is so big it’s swallowed you whole.
You complain about things so simple like the rain.
You idolize the thing that gets you from point A to point B.
My brother you use to be, but now your too far gone & I have long ago stopped chasing you.
You use to be just like me…
Independent & wise, yet now your goals are to be the life of the party, the center of the group.
You strive to impress others.
Brother, I miss the old you even though I am starting to forget what he was like.
I miss your old head, the normal one that made good decisions.
Not the one too bloated with ego.
I just want the old you back.
I wonder if I cross his mind.
It’s been 2 years since he made the choice to flee & find his own path.
I wonder if he remembers how heart broken he left me.
I wonder if he realizes that in less than a minute he broke all the promises made over a year.
I wonder what he would say if he knew I don’t go a day without thinking about him.
I wonder if he regrets his choice or if he is happy with it.
I know I am.
I wonder if he knows I’m happy & planning my life with someone else now.
I hope he knows that even though he broke my heart I now have someone who is mending it with his soft, gentle, precise hands.
I hope he knows I forgive him.
Breaking my heart was the best thing he did for me.
For now I have everything I’ve ever wanted & needed.